Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Declare if thou hast understanding. -Job 38:4
Till we all come in unity of the faith, and the knowledge of the son of God, unto a perfect , unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ. -Ephesians 4:13
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The believer's steps ain't for the cowardly.
It’s a delicate balance we walk as believers, a tightrope stretched between skyscrapers. I find the closer I get to God, the more I want to question Him. Faith balances against intellect, and my steps grow tentative. We are created with a moral compass, a curious intellect, and a spiritual longing. These three things, when combined, are pretty dangerous. My God-given moral compass wants to rail against a God who says to Satan, “Sure, do whatever you want to Job, just don’t kill him. I’m sort of curious as to how he’ll react.” I want to ask Him why He made the Genesis account so ambiguous, so open to wildly variant interpretation. I wonder if He just gets a kick at the way our minds work as we try to understand His word.
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We are His workmanship...
I have expressed in previous writings my observation that God can be cruel. This is not a flippant or bitter observation, but a sincere and reverent one. If humanity is merely the image of God, the dim reflection of all He is, and we are capable of the inconceivable evil that fills our televisions screens and newspapers and dreams, then how much more cruel must God be? This brave undiluted God created us with intellect, and conscience and the ability to judge right from wrong. I often feel like I’m an ant staring up at the manaical man with his magnifying glass wondering if He’ll fry me for asking Him just what the hell He thinks He’s doing, all the while desperately hoping He’ll let me crawl into His hand, and bring me up close enough so I can feel His breath.
I’ve been told it is wrong to judge God, to look at His actions and say, “I think that was wrong.” I am just a little girl, after all, and He is, well…God. These things just aren’t done. I can understand the propensity to associate “questioning God” and “shameless pride” because the Lord’s question to Job in chapter 38 is totally valid. Just who the hell do I think I am?
But the questioning and the judgment and the confusion does not come from a place of pride. It comes from a sincere, though perhaps ill-conceived, desire to be closer to God. To really know Him. And, I think the questioning comes from the inevitable growth one experiences as a child of God. Consider the teenagers in your life: they are asking questions. This is not a bad thing, even though their questions often scare us.
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Silly girl: you're blind.
And then, there’s this: if it is wrong to judge God when He does things that are heartless and cruel, why do we think we can praise Him for the good things, the blessings, the unexplainable miracles that dazzle us and send us to our knees? One can’t judge with only half a scale in one’s hand. I say, ask the hard questions. But be prepared for silence. He wants us to know who He is, but often it’s in the silence that He speaks, and all one hears is the wind whispering His words, “Be still and know that I am God.”
It is a comforting thought to me that God inhabits the praises of His people. It means it is okay to question Him: He wants to be judged.
He wants us to grow closer…